It defines the way I live my life. The more effective and efficient I get in my creative goals the better I will feel about how I spend my life.

My goal in life is to participate in a positive way in the world, to improve the lives of others (not only people) while enjoying the process. The best way I've found to do that is through creative projects, currently it's making films. If I can make them more quickly than I have been I will enjoy the process even more and I will contribute more to the world.

I will feel that my life experience would be more analogous to surfing a wave rather than paddling out through the waves as it occasionally is now. I will spend more of my time sharper, in the groove of things, dancing with the energy around me.

I might learn the art and craft of film making to a higher level, increasing my contribution. I will have more time to do things that I cannot prioritize now like exploring new things. infinite possibilities...

Pretty god damn good. Though I'm not sure I'll realize I've "achieved" it. It will require that I remain aware enough to recognize that a change in my creative process has taken place.

i will have a sense that my life energy is moving and grooving in line with something bigger. now, frequently, i feel I've fallen off the main path of momentum and am struggling through the brush to straighten myself out and get back to speed on the main path. I'll be able to organize my time more effectively which will result in being able to do more of the things I feel I don't have time for now: I will see friends more, I will explore new ideas more, I will try new experiences more, I will have less background stress about needing to finish a long term project. I might find that I will be able to explore enough through films that I will want to switch methods of participating in the world. I might spend more time involved in direct humanitarian action. Hopefully, if I complete enough film projects I will be able to generate a regular income from their distribution that will enable me to feel financially independent. I will be able to share my experiences with some of the many people who aspire to make films and change the world for the better.

I will feel that I am living more harmoniously with my values and aspirations, so I will feel better about how I spend my life.

I would become a more efficient and effective film maker, which means I would contribute more frequently and perhaps with a higher quality of film. Audiences would benefit from that. I would spend resources more efficiently in making films which would enable those resources to be spent elsewhere, hopefully on other good things. My friends and family wouldn't have to wait as long to be able to celebrate the completion of a film that hopefully inspires and makes people's lives better. I might spend more time helping others in person. My mom, friends and relatives would worry less about my financial situation which is unstable right now.

I will feel more capable of changing things about my life, and maybe even in the world around me, so I will feel more empowered in general. I will see my other goals as more achievable than they seemed before. I will be able to take more control of my time and decide better ways to spend it.

If after many years of trying I fail to achieve this goal, or significant progress towards achieving it, I will probably change my goals in order to not feel extremely frustrated with myself. so, if I don't achieve this goal I will probably rationalize a way to not feel too bad about it or about myself. But, on the flipside, if I do achieve this goal I think I will be ecstatic and full of great positive energy that would effect everything in my life including my health and the people around me.

The very worst that could happen by not achieving my goal is that I would ultimately feel my life was wasted, squandered by inability to change or lack of willpower and I will be miserable. then, because of this depression I would get a debilitating neurological disease like ALS and, because of my years of depression, I would have no one left around me to take care of me and I would slowly and torturously wither away with bedsores until I suffocated while lying in my own fermented shit.

I have to unlearn patterns of behavior that have become normal to me over the course of much of my life. I will have to first notice and then fight against these reflexive habits and replace them with other behaviors that are as yet foreign to me. my girlfriend, family, and friends have expectations of me that they consciously and unconsciously support - and those will be challenged. there may be unforeseen effects of these behavioral shifts which I will have to absorb and deal with. I enjoy many of the things that have created the problem: I like spontaneity which takes me away from my work, I like staying up late if inspired which throws me off a schedule. I don't like schedules and routine and those will probably be very useful tools in achieving my goal. I have yet to figure out how to stay focused on a creative obstacle if it has grown stale or if I do not have at least a starting point for how to overcome it. Herein lies the heart of the problem: my attention is easily taken when I am not intently focused on my work. And this will need to change somehow.

I will identify old behavioral patterns which are against the achievement of this goal. I will enact new responses that will support the achievement of this goal. I will figure out how to effectively deal with all the random diversions that appear nearly every day. I will identify clearly which ones are important and have to be dealt with, I will figure out how urgent they are, and I will determine which are not urgent nor important - and I will prioritize them accordingly. I will make my office environment more conducive to concentrated work. Among other things I will disconnect the internet from my computer - no random email checks. I will write up a plan, with a timeline, of how I intend to achieve the steps towards ultimately achieving this goal. This will give me a clearer picture of the route to success. I will decide which of my activities and interests I will put on hold completely until I have achieved this goal.

I will notice every few days if I feel I have made progress or not towards increasing my creative efficacy. This will be done by noting how many hours I have worked and what progress I have made on my current project.

I will take one or two or three smaller goals and focus on achieving those. When those obstacles are overcome or are in control I will choose the next few and so on. For example, initially I will likely decide to: 1) set parameters for when and for whom I answer the phone during work time 2) set a work hour quota per day 3) set a sub project goal, like rewriting a voiceover in 2 days When I've mastered or achieved those goals I will set a few more.

The primary obstacle will be my "old way" of responding to the world. I will have to resist the temptation to do the many smaller creative projects and interesting diversions and household chores that often spontaneously pull my focus away from working on my film. Friends and family will expect me to act as I used to and when I change my patterns they may consciously and unconsciously provide resistance. I may face the big question of "what's next?" and might find myself subtly resisting progress on my film.

I will notice my unproductive behaviors and decide to alter them. A few sessions of therapy have already helped in that, so I believe it is a viable approach - at least for the obvious stuff. I will either ignore my family and friends' pressure or will take the time to explain my goal to them in hopes of recruiting their support for the process. I will remind myself that there are a million interesting things that I want to do and I will only get to do them if I finish this project first.

I will revisit this questionnaire and / or will sit and focus on my goals, my strategies, my implementation or lack of and I will set a fresh course with renewed vigor. Or I will give up, but I highly doubt that.

The reward I plan to give myself is a genuinely fresh experience, something completely unconnected to the current film projects. This will likely take form of a surf trip, a motorcycle trip, or some other journey where I put myself in a totally new environment for, hopefully, an undetermined period of time. It will feel incredibly great, not only for the merit of the trip itself, but because it will also acknowledge the achievement of something very important to me.